One should guide ones life by fear

When misunderstood

One should apologize
One should realize they only
Really exist in so far as
They appear in others eyes

Because

The true value of an individual
Is that they are nothing at the core
And that there are only the shifting winds
Of surface congeniality on which to soar

Such is the depth of wisdom
That fear of failure brings to bear
It is always in another’s hands
As to the judgment if one truly cares

Just like emptiness is the greatest teacher
And patience is the damnation of the soul
Faith is but a meaningless promise
If one observes the chill factors cold

Yes

True work never stands on its own
The critics always win
And that’s why it’s best to always cower
To show that you want to be their friends


Neils
11:10 pm
08/25/2005
*
transcribed this time
11:20 pm
08/25/2005

On offers of compromisingly ... getting along

Forget it

I don't care what creeps like or don't like
I don't care what the nit picky say
I don't care what fair means if it's some ruse
To get me to bow down before mediocrity's way

Don't be pushin on me if you don't
Want to get substantially shoved right back
I don't need some rough puffs screamin
And whinin like I've been on an all out attack

Because if you swear you were just going light
And think I came back way too strong
Then you need to be writing lyrics
To some of the back street boys songs

And if there has to be one more lesson
Someone thinks they need to be teaching me
Let's just say I'm not any body's whippin boy
And I quit taken shots long ago for free



Neils
5:10 pm
08/24/2005
*
transcribed this time
5:24 pm
08/24/2005
*
no disclaimer on this one
if you take it personally
maybe you should.......


N....again

Poor baby

Poor baby

Is it safe there in gray world
Where nothing is black and white
Where nothing is ever wrong
Where nothing is ever right

Nuance this
Nuance that
It's all a point of view
Even the very facts

For fence straddlers
Poor poor baby
If yes and no is too hard
Well then there's always maybe

But everywhere
And all the time
Sounds to me
Like an unbalanced mind

Let's get down in it
Let's get into the dirt
Tell me something that matters
Tell me of your deepest hurt

Who would you protect
Who to you draws sacred breath
Who would you step in front of
To meet eye to eye with death




Neils
10:20 pm
08/22/2005
*
transcribed this time
10:24 pm
8/22/2005

Walking the edge

Oh yeah I love it

I love being welcomed by the spiders
The toads the worms and snakes
All looking to pose right up
All looking to fake they got

What it takes

I love all the false intentions
I love all the alibi's
I love all the split double tongues
Swearing they don't lie

Cause

Everybody's got it coming
Everybody gets to choose
But some think they can only win
If they make the other guy lose

But I've got enough volunteers
To be the trouble looking for me
To believe that my own attitude
Doesn't affect what I think I see

Not that I won't push back
But I'm not afraid of a smile
Sometimes even if only a memory
It's what can get you through that

Last hard mile



Neils
6:43 pm
08/16/2005
*
transcribed this time
12:03 am
08/17/2005

This one was hard sweat

Are you coming to me
With Deception

Are you coming to me
With a lie in your heart
Are you looking for a way out
Of doing your own fair part

Are you looking to upset me
Unbalance me down to my core
All so you don’t have to answer
All so you can take away more

What’s with all the hurry up
What’s with the pressure game
It’s always seems to be something
Your approach is always the same

You’re always coming across angry
Saying you don’t have to be on time
And that you can do anything you want
Because it’s your body soul and mind

But just when it can go good
You jump right off into full negate
And yet wonder why you’re confused
Wonder why you’re so full of hate




Neils
10:55 pm
08/12/2005

Breaking the silence

Breaking the silence

With a breath of life breathed in
With a relaxation of the shoulders
With a choice of company
That will not make your world any colder

Breaking the silence

With a simple smile
With a look upon your face
That says you know the lightning
But also address yourself to grace

Breaking the silence

With a quiet thought
For the sake of another
Like sometimes all real love needs
Is for someone brave enough to

Be a lover

Breaking the silence
But maybe this time with a sound
That knows even the rage of angels
Can walk in peace upon sacred ground


Neils
6:44 pm
08/11/2005
*
transcribed this time
6:53 pm
08/11/2005

A Normal Voice

A normal voice

****
****

Don't speak to me

With passion
Like there is such a thing as romance
Like even a tiny portion of the world
Stands a chance amidst the mad man's dance

Don't speak to me of the evening
And how flowers can perfume the air
Or how when even as the sun goes down
It still has enough light to dare us to care

Don't speak to me of your hopes and dreams
Or with any openness in your heart
About how to make a good beginning
Or how to even want to give that a start

****
****

No speak to me in a normal voice

And whatever that would mean to you
Why can't people ask for what they want
With out first thinking

They have to tell the other person
What not to do

****
****

I thought we might catch a note
As it drifted from some guitar
And let it ride with us on a walk
As we gazed up on a star

I thought we might buy a malt
And sit out on a sunny day
On some park bench somewhere
And laugh and watch some children play

But I don't know how it happened
Suddenly I just went away
I didn't know what else to do
And I definitely didn't know what to say

I guess I couldn't find my normal voice
I couldn't find it even when I was given the cue
I guess lonely street just took a turn
And I went on down it

Without you


Neils
11:24 pm
06/25/2003
*
transcribed this time
10:34 pm
08/10/2005

N....again